The Story

It was nobody’s fault. She knew it had to be done. She had left home 3 months ago, on this very day, she had settled into her new life. Her hopes were high, she wanted to see the world and experience life as it comes. Little did she know that even in the midst of everything pristine, there would be an inherent decay. Little did she realize then what she sees as cool waves of life would make her cold within and lifeless.

Its been more than a month when she saw the change in herself, her appearance. It was then that she noticed parts of her everywhere, as iff she had broken down, unknowingly. The fun and excitement posed a sudden question, to what end, if this? Her initial reaction was that of shock, which soon turned into denial. She lived with that feeling even after she had to return. She was losing herself, but at such a rate. She was scared for her future, confused at her state. She wanted to share it but was not able to. She remained quiet, aware of the fire and frustration building up within. She knew it is almost time. But was she ready to face it? What about her future? What would happen once she is done with it?

Finally she dressed up, took her purse, checked iff she had enough cash. She even took her card, just in case. Took up an auto and gave the auto driver the address. For the first time ever she didn’t bargain. What she was to do in the next few minutes will change a lot of things, she knew, the bargain didn’t matter that day. When she reached, she could feel the air inside. Every person looked as if they knew what they did. It didn’t frighten her, she had made up her mind. They welcomed her into the building, as if they were expecting her. She paid up the entire amount upfront. Her hands didn’t tremble; there was no doubt in her voice. She took the place assigned to her and closed her eyes. She could feel a man approaching her, she could hear the shrill sound of steel and sharp objects. She shooed away all opposing thoughts. It was but a matter of minutes.

She opened her eyes, and smiled. The haircut was as she had expected.

Conflicting thoughts

Someday on a warm Saturday afternoon, holding a pen and a blank sheet, 
My words turn into silence, a mocking portray of emotions underneath. 
I try I fight do everything I can, words, they still elude me, 
Play hide and seek my heart my mind, laughing away to cynical glee. 

No questions asked no statements made, just random thoughts seeking place, 
Some place somewhere deep inside, a shoulder to rest, giving solace.
Distress nor happiness, pain neither otherwise, a plethora of feelings breaking free,  
Wondering out loud with nothing to say, reverberant thoughts overwhelming me. 

Peace and content and noise and commotion, residing in one splitting it too, 
Concaving time and space and the world concaving lives, impressions true. 
As colours fill the sky with ocular strokes, and everything around with myriad hue, 
A voice I hear, a tune is played, soul dancing away to dreams anew.

You and I

If I had the words,
        I would write a poem for you.
If I had the lyrics,
        I would sing the song to you.
The days that were meant to be
       filled with love, just you and me.
Wonder if I be with you,
       will you love me back, will it be true ?

So real so true.

Why is what i feel, feel so true
The fun the hope my love for you.
Did everything i could to stay away,
from things right to everything wrong
Why still then my world resonates with your thoughts
and of dreams unsung.
Why do i still find so much of me in you
Heart's desire of affection and amor in myriad hue.
Strange as it seems, life gave me many a chance
to leave you to forget you to be in a world far apart,
Why then do i resent the very thought
of leading my life the way i want from the very start.
Why do i find tears in my eyes
unsure if they are only for you,
Why do my lips still hold a smile
wondering if all this is true.
The questions that i ask, the answers i seek
all that i feel, why is it that they seem so true,
Why is that my time my day and my night
my fun and my hope and my love seem so real only for you.

Living in a world of reality
i love to dream,
of things new and uncertain
hopes within.

I love the thought of 'us'
gives me wings to fly,
the tiny bristles of emotions
that go high up the sky.

Life is never in vain
every moment is true,
its truth that makes the world go round
its truth that makes me love you.

The dreams that i dream
bring a smile to my heart
,soothing as it always is
gives me a great start.

Of living in the world of reality
dreams that i love to dream,
of things new and uncertain
the hopes of life within.

Holding on to things ....

There is something i have realised lately, my impatience. Not that i have been the face of patience ever, but this time it strikes me as something cryptic. Not everything around me seem different in a weird sort of way, but some things and some people that matter or lets say mattered seem unreal. My happiness or more like contentedness, i now believe, is getting more and more obscure from the realm of reality. Even though i feel more in sync with myself, there definitely is the presence of something surreal. And am holding on to it..........
(so many thoughts .. all at the same time ... am yet to finish this post ... i hope..someday i definitely will..... )

scribbling

How does it feel to grow ? I don't believe much thought has ever been given to that. Or better still, what precisely must one understand when one is told to "GROW UP" !!!!!!!!!! ?

Well, each may have a very different answer to this. While for some it might be as casual as being asked to overlook some detail, but for some soul searchers, it might even be a life changing phenomena! For me ?? Well, it is largely a relative term depending, if not entirely, on the person saying it. Not ignoring various awkward predicaments of unforeseen circumstances, the GROW UP would signify some sort of learning and moving on. In cases of verbal fallacy committed, if any, the same-GROW UP- would conveniently assume the form of blatant ignorance. The least plausible case would be if anyone really looked deep into conscience and pondered over the much talked about, hyped and well-paid for theories in scores of documents, not to forget the word-of-mouth propaganda(s).
In totality, of the chaos and terms relative to perception, how can the GROW UP be paraphrased in politically correct terms, let alone feel it !!!!!!!